All posts by flotsky

I don't care who you are, fall off that big thing now please

I’ve just been reading Charlie Brooker’s latest Screen Burn column. You should too. Then come back here.

Done that? Good. Right, where were we?

Okay, early on he sums up nicely one thing that really annoys me about television at the moment. Sometimes there is a need to explain who a person is, what makes them tick. However most of the time, if you’re on a game show say, it really doesn’t matter. So don’t bother telling me.

I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. YOUR. FUCKING. JOURNEY. The journey is you auditioned for a telly show, you had some degree of knowledge about said show. You then did your thing. You’re probably not an expert in the field the show deals with, as if you were, you’d be doing it for a living. So sometimes you may find doing said thing a bit tricky. Most of the time though you do the thing to the best of your ability. Then you either win, or you get so far in the show, and go home. Even if you win, you’ll probably make little impact on that area you chose afterwards. Life goes on. It’s not really a journey.

The worst example of this is Total Wipeout on BBC1. If you’re going to run across some big balls and probably fall off, get on with it, don’t give me your life story. The infinitely better Viking (Japanese telly shown on Eurosport 2) doesn’t bother with this, their contestants shout, then get on with something far harder and more impressive. For a bit of fun, they sometimes have them do the same thing with their kids in tow. No lifestory needed.

The other upside of this is that you either get more or less telly, rather than pointless filler about lives I don’t care about. And that is a good thing.

Jamaica runs wild

Well the World Athletics championships got off to something of a flying start. Usain Bolt was just astonishing winning the 100m final in 9.58 seconds. Even more so in that I felt he could have gone very slightly faster, just something in him didn’t quite seem to blast to the very last metre. It wasn’t like his world record at the 2008 Olympics, that was possibly the laziest smashing of a world record anyone has ever seen. But there is just a little more there one senses.

Then tonight Shelley-Ann Fraser took the women’s 100m in 10.73 seconds, boringly (I jest) only the third fastest time in history. A different race, much harder to call beforehand, but ultimately won in style.

This is just the start of the gold medals for Jamaica here, at least the 200m and sprint relays to come, but in a perfect world, Bolt would have a go at the 400m, give us all a treat. I suspect he won’t, but I can hope.

Fingers crossed for Felipe Massa

Today’s qualifying for the Hungarian GP was marred by a horrific accident suffered by Felipe Massa. He was hit in the head by what appears to be a spring from another car, lost control of his car, and went straight off the circuit. He has some sort of skull fracture, and is in hospital. Reports are conflicting as to how serious the injury is, and it does seem that it may be slightly worse than first thought. It’s also worrying coming a week after the sad death of Henry Surtees, whose death occurred after he was hit by a wheel from another car during a F2 race at Brands Hatch. Such bad luck to have two serious accidents caused in a similar manner so close together, and does start to make one wonder if there is some way of preventing them. Thoughts are with Massa and his family tonight.

The session itself finished with Alonso on pole, and massed confusion when the timing failed. Drivers had to swap times when they got out of their cars, which resulted in Jensen Button asking Alonso what his time was on live tv, and exclaiming “Fucking Hell” when he realised how quick he’d been. Will be interesting to see if Alonso can hold on, but he has been fueled very light.

Psychoville S01E06 AND S01E07 – or not

Psychoville on BBC2 is starting to pick up pace now. All the disparate strands are now intertwined, and the murder and terror is coming thick and fast. Dawn French’s terrible blood-transfusion revenge was a particular gruesome highlight.

Now we’re nearly at the end, it seems clear that they really have written a decent sequel to the League of Gentlemen. It’s got a similar feel, but perhaps with a tighter plot to it all. Both are elaborate mechanisms to wrap around a sketch show, but this is no bad thing when they are so gruesomely funny. I’m sure we will have some death, destruction and resolution in the final episode, but I get the feeling this won’t be the last we see of it. I hope not too.

Note that I haven’t seen the final episode yet. At the end of the sixth episode, we were promised that we didn’t have to wait, we could watch it NOW on the red button. Like an excited puppy I waited patiently for the Virgin Media box to load slowly, only to find nothing. No final episode. They hadn’t put it up. People were sad. Maybe a final cruel joke. Or most likely a fuck up. Gah.

Another flotsky site???

I’ve just launched the companion site to, It’s basically a place for proper bloggy type posts about things, rather than random stuff on my mind like here. Think of this as still my personal site, and as stuff that isn’t just personal. I think that’s a reasonable divide. Go have a look and see what you think. I found a nice theme for it for now too.

Big Brother 10 – Reality Eats Itself

So tonight’s episode of Big Brother 10 had quite a lot going on. Kenneth the Evil Villain in tears over the thought of his girlfriend doing naughty things without him, despite one of his first sentences on greeting her in the house being “Wow, 58 days of loyalty, who would have thought it?” Siavash and Noirin finding themselves in a painful love tryst. Bea and Freddie Halfwit drawing closer together. Bea’s incredible 60 second dating video that would scare any possible suitor clean away.

However for me, the strangest moment was part of the Greek themed task where Charlie and Rodrigo peformed as Stavros Flatley, the tribute act to Riverdance who found fame on Britain’s Got Talent. It was just an odd moment, as being young men compared to the father, and being in better shape than either the son or father, and even with a minimal amount of ability or training, they were able to provide a more competent tribute to Riverdance than Stavros Flatley themselves. Of course it lacked the ermm, charm or hmmmm, soul of the original, but it was just methodically better. This was just odd, a reality tribute to a reality tribute, a half-thought out act of a half-thought out act with marginally more talent. Reality television turning in on itself.

You Have Been Watching – S01E03

Last night’s show had a slightly different feel to it, it seemed like Charlie Brooker was a little brasher, a little louder, a little more cunty. This was no bad thing at all. Mixed in with some quality comments from Frankie Boyle (“they’re supposed to be experts, what did they expect when they cut open a giraffe, a horse with a periscope?”) it made for a strong and enjoyable episode.

I think they've passed the audition

Beatles rock band. Absolutely blown away by the trailer for this. It isn’t an original game. It isn’t an innovative game. It is a license game, which the vast majority of suck incredibly hard. So why has it impressed me?

It has been done right. It oozes the source material. Right outfits, right look and feel, even the right sideburns for the characters. Little side comments at the end of songs. It just feels so accurate. And it sold me. It also doesn’t hurt that I know all the songs. I was brought up on them, these are some of the first songs I was taught to sing. Blame a liberal education in the seventies for that if you like. This is how you make a licensed game, you basically pay a load of attention, and then make it right. Should be fairly obvious, but in a lot of cases people just don’t bother

I’m not going to shell out for the fancy instruments, but I’m definitely getting the game fairly early on.